On relationships

The original goodness in a relationship rarely goes away... it just gets obscured by the pile of conflicts which have gone unresolved.

Emotion is not transferable.  It is simply not possible to take your feelings for one person and apply them to another.  Think of your first lover - the first time.  If you could remove all of the conflict, wouldn't you feel all those things again, even though you may now be with someone else?

Different people provide different things.  Many feel no threat when a new friend comes into the life if their lover, as long as the friend has no interest in sex with the significant other.  But when sex is possible, the primary other gets on the defensive.  Why is sex any different than any other intimate activity?  Is sex any more or less intimate than sharing the pain of a terrible loss or a life changing epiphany?  Does one not share different experiences with different people?  When is in ever appropriate to believe that one could be replaced by another?  Each provides something unique - irreplaceable.

why sex

craving desire for the other / visceral connection,

lust - pure, targeted sexual desire,

fun with friends,

desire to bring pleasure to someone you love

too deep

like trimming ones nails, when the starting point goes deeper than you wanted. something about cutting in too deep to get things started, and then requiring time for repair, before goodness can be achieved.

dreams

what have I become?

have I experienced that which I imagined?

have I become that for which I hoped?

have I held in my hands, heart, mind, the experiences for which I dreamed?

how did they go? all of those years I imagined from that time until this?

did I achieve that which I was expecting? did I feel all of those things?

was that little boy lost in the process?

was it worth it to become what I have?